Hand Feeding wild monkeys.

Hand feeding wild monkeys.

Running with scissors.

Both kinda stupid, but one is more fun than the other.

I am working for IOM again, this time I am alone. Which is cool but no one has really told me what I am shooting just that I am heading here and then there. I mean I know what to shoot but I don’t know what I am shooting. I seem to find out right before I get there or right when I get there. Good thing I am this good huh?

I started out on Tuesday in Islamabad where I was driven up to Abbottabad via a photo stop in a little village called Tajwal. The ride up was great since the mountains still have some snow on them up in the higher elevations and the air pollution dwindles down to breathable and even clean smelling. Islamabad at night makes LA in the 80’s look like a sparkling green meadow in central Kentucky, it’s that nasty. The mountains in Pakistan resemble northern Arizona or New Mexico…sort of. They are filled with Pine trees, big boulders threatening to come loose from the rock walls and smash your vehicle down a few hundred feet into the ravines. There are random streams and small waterfalls fueled by rain, snow melt and a few springs that exist. As we snaked our way up and down various smaller mountains and paths I could see the larger snow covered mountains getting closer then farther then closer again. Pretty soon we were driving past the remnants of snowfalls that crushed flat roofed shacks from the weight. At this point my driver Qadir begins to tell me that this area is big for honeymooners and romantic get aways. Politely I nod and say “Oh yah? That’s cool. Its very beautiful up here.” He goes on about how you can drive up here with your new wife, find a very nice hotel, there are nice restaurants here, nice paths to walk and get your exercise. I keep nodding. Yes, exercise is good. You can exercise and (breaths in deeply) breathe nice air until you go home and EXERCISE more! I laughed, he laughed and then asked me how long I have been married.

Damn it.

After a few minutes of discussing my relationship history he seems satisfied that I am at least interested in women and he thinks I will one day be married and have several children. Good for him. In the meantime it started snowing. There was something surreal about driving past snowmen wearing Chitrali (tribal) woolen hats and scarves. I am in Pakistan and all but for some reason it seemed odd. 

Then Qadir asked if I like monkeys.

In between laughing and being nervous I asked why he would ask me that and he said because we are driving through monkey country. Hell yah! Foreign monkeys! None of that imported monkey stuff in zoos. We have live mountain monkeys! Sure enough a minute or two later we see a few scampering along the side of the road. As we pull over so I can shoot a few frames I see a young monkey with a bag of potato chips in its hands. Even in New York we don’t have actual monkeys wandering around with potato chips, this was a new thing for me. He stopped and buried his whole head in the bag and came up crunching away. We drove on leaving him and his high sodium lifestyle. 

Further up the road Qadir pulled off and bought a rather haggard looking ear of corn and gave it to me, apparently to feed the monkeys. This seems like a great idea, full of fun, excitement and possibly being bitten by a rabid monkey. I was in.

You might think you’re brave but when you have a small primate stand up on two legs and cautiously walk several feet and snatch food from your hand, it’s very very hard not to flinch. They are fast, they move in groups and they have large teeth. Much like a group of pre-pubescent girls. Both are viscous and prone to hysterics.

Eventually we ran out of things to feed them so we went to work.

It was fun talking to Qadir, he was the only driver to have cracked jokes with me and at me, he was also the only driver (other than Mr. Niaz) not to ask me about politics. Yes he wanted to talk about sex, how much money I make, why I don’t have kids yet and why I am not actively looking to get married. It was a lovely reprieve from politics and theories. Today after being picked up (by a different driver) for the trip from Abbottabad to Muzaffarabad I wasn’t 15 minutes into the drive when the guy asked who do I (personally) feel is responsible for all of the bombings in Pakistan?

This is a very loaded question. I have heard some great conspiracy theories concerning this topic. Some people have told me they know and can prove to me that it was any of the following: India, America, the Jews (not Israel mind you but the Jews) the Taliban, Musharraf, ISI (Pakistani CIA), Al-Qaeda, the Afghanis, the Iranians…its pretty awesome really. Sometimes I talk to people and try to debunk some of the dumber ones. Why would Israel (excuse me, the Jews) bomb a police station in the North West Frontier Province? Not to mention HOW?! Yes, India is dying to start a war with Pakistan and will do so by blowing up a wedding party in Balochistan, after all. Every one wants a nuclear capable neighbor to be pissed at them. The Americans? Yes we planted a bomb in a restaurant frequented by our own Embassy personnel why? Because we want to prove that there are terrorists in Pakistan.

Most of the time the asking of this question is followed by the person telling me how they were somewhere and met someone or they are related to someone who knows for a fact that the Indian Jews of American/Iranian decent confessed to having bombed the Peace Jirga in Dara Adam Khel. Because it couldn’t possibly have been the guys who took credit for it.

This was no exception. I just stared out the window wondering if this guy was going to continue to get worked up and drive us off a cliff or just drive too damn fast for the truck and road. Turns out it just the latter. We didn’t die, in case you thought this was written in real time.

 Sorry all I meant to post this a few days ago. 

I will post at least once more before heading home on Tuesday.